Saturday, April 10, 2010
There is nothing quite so frustrating as finally sitting down to your computer, after going to painstaking means to put aside time in the first place, and finding yourself staring numbly at a blank screen with no idea how to begin. You find yourself gently tapping the keys just to give your restless fingers something to do. I find myself in this predicament all too often these days and it is a sensation that makes me want to pull my hair out. It is especially painful after spending a grueling 8 hour day, working a double job of book store employee and playing mom, a double duty which leaves me drained, irritated, and exhausted by the time 4:30pm rolls around. Everyday I have dragged the extra 20 lbs of laptop and books along with me to try and get homework done in between shelving, customers and mommy time. I haven’t even had a chance to turn it on the past three days whatsoever. You would think getting work down at home would be easier, but between household chores, making dinner, and further mother duties, the hours just seem to slip away, until I find myself staring at a blank computer screen at 9:30pm, trying to remember how to spell my name. My husband has found me slumped over more than once, and kindly tucked me in. So here I am after finding a baby sitter for Malcolm, after getting the house essentially to myself, and I must have spent the last fifteen minutes trying to figure out where to go from there. After my eyeballs started pulsing I had to start ranting or I think they may have fallen out of their sockets. Still a page of ranting and raving about everyday difficulties is great therapy, everyone needs someone to rant to, even if it a blank computer screen. I am starting to feel a genuine tingle of motivation creeping into my fingers now. Perhaps this day shall not be wasted after all.